The Real Reason
by HermioneGrangerTwin
Summary: A letter written in anger, frustration, and sadness can change a person’s life, especially when that person is in love. During HBP RHr


The Real Reason

One-Shot

Disclaimer: Here's one for ya. You would be _delusional _to think that I might own Harry Potter. (Almost as delusional as you would be to think that Harmony is gonna happen.)

Ron came in, laughing, pulling Lavender by the hand.

"Oh," he said, drawing up short at the sight of Harry and Hermione.

"Oops!" said Lavender, and she backed out of the room, giggling. The door swung shut behind her,

There was a horrible, swelling, billowing silence. Hermione was staring at Ron, who was refusing to look at her, but said with an odd mixture of bravado and awkwardness, "Hi, Harry! Wondered where you'd got to!"

Hermione slid off the desk. The little flock of golden birds continued to twitter in circles around her head so that she looked like a strange, feathery model of the solar system.

"You shouldn't leave Lavender waiting outside," she said quietly. "She'll wonder where you've gone."

She walked very slowly and erectly toward the door.

"Oppugno!" She shrieked from the doorway.

Harry spun around to see Hermione pointing her wand at Ron, her expression wild: The little flock of birds was speeding like a hail of fat golden bullets toward Ron, who yelped and covered his face with his hands, but the birds attacked, pecking and clawing at every bit of flesh they could reach.

"Gerremoffme!" he yelled, but with one last look of vindictive fury, Hermione wrenched open the door and disappeared through it, sobbing in anger as she slammed it. How could he do this to her?! It was just wrong! She found herself running quickly towards her room. She went in and slammed the door flinging herself onto her bed. She didn't want to be mad at him and she didn't quite know why she was. She tried to let the anger slip away with her tears, but it wasn't working. Hadn't she heard once that writing a letter to a person you're mad at, but never sending it, helped gets rid of anger? She had nothing to do and nothing else seemed to work so she decided to try that. She pulled out a piece of paper and started to write:

_Ron: November 20th, 1996_

_I'd like to start by saying the birds were a bit much, and I'm sorry if I hurt you. My emotions overpowered my thoughts. But my anger is completely justified. For one, you deserve better than Lavender. You are too smart and too good to be involved with her. You and everyone else knows as well as I do that Lavender will snog anything that moves._

_Which brings me to another point: why are you so interested in snogging all at once? Ginny said she told you off the other night. Something about Dean and your aunt-it doesn't matter. If this is what sparked your sudden obsession-your pride-then I have to say that you might want to rethink your behavior for a moment. Snogging in empty classrooms, snogging openly in full view, complete and utter disregard for people, your friends; this isn't you. It's as if some alternate universe has collided with mine. Never mind that, you don't know what an alternate universe is. You're a completely different person now, a person that I really don't care for._

_But the person Lavender is infatuated with is the hero: the winner of the Quidditch Cup; the warrior at the Ministry of Magic; the soldier in the fight against Voldemort. What she doesn't see is that you were already a hero before: winning the potentially fatal chess game; going into the Chamber of Secrets; standing up to Sirius Black, a notorious killer, to save your best friend; helping save Gabrielle; being a part of Dumbledore's Army. You were already that man and so much more. But Lavender never noticed you then; she saw you as the boy who scoffed at Divination, Harry Potter's best friend, a mediocre student. You have friends that appreciated you then, and still do._

Hermione read through her letter, trying to see if she forgot or missed anything. She saw something she already knew:

_Reading over this letter just illustrates why I'm really angry, but more than that, heartbroken. The real reason I'm mad at you is that I love you. And I just want you to love me. To be mine for all time. I love you with every thought, every feeling. It may look like I'm devoted to my schoolwork, but that's just a mask to hide my love for you. And even though I hate the person you're acting as - the mask _you_ wear - I still love you because I love everything about you. I've loved you since the day on the train, although I didn't know it then. I don't tell somebody I love them unless I know it; I have to be absolutely positive. Even if I had been positive right then, when I had first saw you, I wouldn't have told you for fear of losing you or ruining our relationship. That's why I'm heartbroken: it was ruined anyway, no matter how hard I tried. But as much as I want you to be with me, I just want you to be happy that much more. So I'll leave it at this: If you're happy with Lavender, be with her. And if you're not, keep trying to find somebody to love._

_Loving You For All Time,_

_Hermione_

She found herself feeling slightly better, although the tears were still flowing slowly down her face. She was calm, and that was enough. She put the letter in one of her books and left it there. She thought she might need it someday in the future.

3 and 1/2 months and 100 snogs (and pages) later:

"Then the poisoner didn't know Slughorn very well," said Hermione, speaking for the first time in hours and sounding as though she had a bad head cold. "Anyone who knew Slughorn would have known there was a chance he'd keep something that tasty for himself."

"Er-my-nee," croaked Ron unexpectedly from between them.

They all fell silent, watching him anxiously, but after muttering incomprehensibly for a moment, he merely started snoring.

Hermione had to leave soon after that, but soon after she arrived by Ron's bedside, she left a letter she'd had for a while next to Ron under his blankets. She thought about Ron's near death experience and knew that she had to tell him. They were in the middle of a war, right in the spotlight. Things happen, and you can't exactly plan things to happen tomorrow or the next day. You could quite possibly be in a battle tomorrow. Things happened fast.

She continued to go to his bedside everyday before breakfast and after dinner to just sit, watching his deep breathing, sometimes holding his hand. She anticipated him waking up for more than one reason. She wanted him to wake up, so she could know that he was alright, but also because she was worried about his reaction when he found the letter.

7 days (and pages) later:

She didn't have to anticipate for much longer, as when she walked in at the end of the week, he was awake. She forgot for a moment that he was in a coma just yesterday, as she was just glad he was awake. She smiled and rushed towards him, jumping on his bed and giving him a large hug. For the first time in her life, he hugged her back, wrapping his large arms around her small body. She was beginning to get over the shock and enjoy it when he pulled back. She was a bit dissapointed at this, and it must have shown, for a moment later, he grinned and kissed her full on the lips. She melted into him and knew at once he must've found the letter. Now she was sure he loved her, and he wanted to be with her.

Madam Pomfrey chose this very moment to walk out of her office and say quietly, but with amazing power, "This is not your common room, this is a place of healing. Now, you may either climb off of my patient or get out of this hospital wing." Hermione couldn't help but notice that Madam Pomfrey was almost smiling.

"So I take it you found the letter," Hermione whispered after Madam Pomfrey checked over Ron and went back to her office.

"Yes, I did, and I was astonished at not only the contents, but also the tear splotches and date," Ron looked at her with a look of almost sadness. "You wrote this the night of that party, didn't you?"

It was more a statement than a question, but Hermione still answered. "Yes. I was trying to get my anger out about Lavender. I wasn't quite sure at that point why I was mad at you."

Ron looked reproachful now. "You pretty much hit the key points with your letter. I've always loved you, ever since I met you. Even before that, if you can believe it."

"I think I know what you mean," Hermione said, knowing exactly what he meant, having felt that way more than once herself. "It's as if you were always meant for me and I was always meant for you."

Ron saw a clock on the wall, and said, "Hermione, it's 7:15 already. Shouldn't you go down for breakfast?"

"I haven't been eating breakfast all week. I've been up here. I've gotten used to it. Unless you want me to bring you something."

"No, no. I was just wondering why you were in here and not eating downstairs."

Hermione just smiled at him and held his hand, basking in the glow of his love, wondering if she would ever feel this happy again. "I love you."

"I love you, too. And only you," Ron said, and Hermione knew it was true.

She knew she had to ask. "What are you going to do about Lavender?"

"I don't know. I'll have to think about it."

"Well, don't take too long, you'll only break her heart further. Not to mention, make me anxious."

5 weeks and 100 sighs later (plus 41 pages and 18 secret snogs):

"It's okay, we can fix it," said Hermione, pulling the essay toward her and taking out her wand.

"I love you, Hermione," said Ron, sinking back in his chair, rubbing his eyes wearily.

Hermione turned faintly pink, but merely said, "Don't let Lavender hear you saying that." _You weren't supposed to say that in front of Harry,_ she couldn't help but think.

"I won't," said Ron into his hands. "Or maybe I will... then she'll ditch me..."

"Why don't you just ditch her if you want to finish it?" asked Harry. _ Believe me Harry, _Hermione thought, _I've asked him this, but he doesn't have an answer._

"You haven't ever chucked anyone, have you?" said Ron. "You and Cho just - "

"Sort of fell apart, yeah," said Harry.

"Wish that would happen with me and Lavender," said Ron gloomily, watching Hermione silently tapping each of his misspelled words with the end of her wand, so that they corrected themselves on the page. "But the more I hint I want to finish it, the tighter she holds on. It's like going out with the giant squid."

Hermione just rolled her eyes.

3 days and 19 pages later:

Ron gave a start and tried to hide behind Hermione as a girl came around the corner.

"It isn't Lavender," said Hermione wearily.

(5 minutes later)

"Quick hide me!"

"It isn't Lavender!" said Hermione impatiently, as another couple of girls appeared in the courtyard and Ron dived behind her.

"Cool," said Ron, peering over Hermione's shoulder to check.

That night:

Harry swung his cloak over his shoulders. Harry laughed and Ron and Hermione looked even more alarmed.

"Trust me," he said. "I know what I'm doing... or at least" - he strolled confidently to the door - "Felix does."

He pulled the Invisibility Cloak over his head and set off down the stairs, Ron and Hermione hurrying along behind him. At the foot of the stairs, Harry slid through the open door.

"What were you doing up there with _her_?" shrieked Lavender Brown, staring right through Harry at Ron and Hermione emerging together from the boys' dormitories.

Ron spluttered at her, and Hermione, out of the corner of her mouth, said, "Now would be the time to say something. Tell her."

Ron immediately stopped spluttering and Hermione went to sit down in her favorite chair.

"Lavender, I have to tell you something," said Ron apprehensively. Lavender just looked at him with narrowed eyes. "I can't see you anymore."

"Why not?" Lavender whined.

"I'm in love with someone else. I've always been in love with her."

"It's _her_ isn't it?" Lavender said "her" with obviodus contempt.

"If you mean Hermione, then yes," said Ron. "Then it is _her_."

"Well then," she said, obviously hurt. "You've got it all figured out. I guess now I have to do it." She was silent for a few moments, and Ron started to think that she was done. She must've been saving it all up, because then Lavender exploded, with a wrath Hermione had never seen before.

Hermione sat through the whole thing. The whole 2 hours of it. She saw all the tears, cowering, and spitting she needed to see in a lifetime. She cried herself before Lavender was done, ending it by yelling "I hate you!" and running quickly towards her dorm. But it was done and Ron slowly walked over to his chair. He looked rundown, and tired, as if he had aged 3 years in the last 2 hours. Hermione got up from her chair and walked over to him and giving him a questioning look, she sat on his lap.

"Are you okay?" she asked, truly concerned.

"I am now," he said. "It's finally over and I can have you freely."

Hermione smiled at him, and then she realized something. "I can't go back to my room, especially not tonight. I'm going to have to sleep in here."

"In here?" Ron looked horrified. "No, you'll have to sleep in my room."

"Your room?" Now Hermione looked horrified.

"Don't worry," Ron said. "Everyone else is asleep now. Harry won't be able to see you when he comes in, and you know I won't try anything. Don't you?"

Hermione knew. She knew she did, because she completely trusted him. The question really was: Would they both fit in his bed? She nodded and he picked her up and carried her up to his room. She wrapped her arms around his neck and laid her head on his shoulder. When they got up to his dorm, Hermione found that Ron was indeed right. All the guys were asleep. Ron rummaged through his drawers and pulled out an especially large shirt of his, and handed it to her. He turned around away from her and she changed into it, breathing in his smell. Ron took off his shirt and pants leaving him in his boxers. He didn't turn around until Hermione said, "You can turn around now." She seemed amused.

Ron turned around and gestured toward the bed, telling her to get in. She did so and Ron climbed in, next to her. They fit together perfectly, and Hermione felt more content than she ever had before. Being in Ron's arms, against his body made her feel as if she belonged there. She wanted to be there forever.

"Goodnight, Ron."

"Goodnight, Hermione." Hermione fell asleep quickly and Ron soon after.

The next day:

"Ron, you're making it snow," said Hermione patiently, grabbing his wrist and redirecting his wand away from the ceiling from which, sure enough, large white flakes had started to fall. Lavender Brown glared at Hermione from a neighboring table through very red eyes, and Hermione immediately let go of Ron's arm.

"Oh yeah," said Ron, looking down at his shoulders in vague surprise. "Sorry... looks like we've all got horribly bad dandruff now..."

He brushed some of the fake snow off Hermione's shoulder. Lavender burst into tears. Ron looked immensly guilty and turned his back on her.

"We split up," he told Harry out of the corner of his mouth. "Last night. When she saw me coming out of the dormitory with Hermione. Obviously she couldn't see you, so she thought it had just been the two of us."

"Ah," said Harry. "Well, you don't mind it's over, do you?"

"No," Ron admitted. "It was pretty bad while she was yelling, but at least I didn't have to finish it."

"Coward," said Hermione. She loved that about him. The fact that he never wanted to hurt anyone was enough to make her melt. He was so perfect. She gave him a loving look, wanting him to realized she was just joking.

Once upon a time, Hermione felt absolutely unloved, now she knew she had all the love she needed.

"Hey, beautiful," said Ron, meeting her at breakfast.

''Hey." She gave him a kiss, grabbing his hands and they sat down and Hermione filled her plate, and Ron's glass. He smiled at her and said, "Thanks."

She didn't need to answer. "It's feels funny without Harry, doesn't it?" Harry was in detention for his use of Sectumsempra.

"It's like conversation has dissappeared."

"Yeah." The buck stopped there, and they continued to eat in silence. Ginny showed up soon after that. "Hey, guys."

"Hey, Ginny," Hermione said, glad that someone was here to talk.

Ginny started talking and soon, Ron and Hermione were carrying on conversation without her. In fact, they pretty much talked so much she couldn't get a word in edgewise. She just walked off, without Ron and Hermione noticing. They talked and talked until they realized the room was empty. That was the thing about them. They would get caught up in time and forget where they were.

"So," said Ron, as they walked out of the empty Great Hall. "How are you getting along with Lavender?"

"Okay," said Hermione. "We just don't talk anymore. It's not really a loss. We never really talked before. We just never avoided it, you know? Before it just happened. Now it's deliberate."

Ron just gave her a sad smile. "I'm sorry I put you through this."

"You didn't _put_ me through anything. On second thought, maybe you did."

Ron laughed, and wrapped his arms around her waist. "I love you."

"I know," She said, defiantly. "I love you, too." She kissed him softly, and wrapped her arms around her neck.

Ron was holding Hermione and stroking her hair as she sobbed into his shoulder, tears dripping from his own long nose. She found herself calming slowly in his arms, although she didn't want to. She couldn't be consoled by many people and Ron always calmed her down. He was her rock in sadness. He pulled back when she stopped crying and smiled at her. "You okay?"

She nodded slowly and they stood up to go talk to Harry.

"We'll be there Harry." Ron told him. "Wherever you're going."

"You said to us once before," said Hermione quietly, "that there was time to turn back if we wanted to. We've had time, haven't we?"

"We're with you whatever happens."

They almost enjoyed that last day at Hogwarts, just a day with Harry to be normal. And the train home. Ron and Hermione told Harry, that they would always be Harry's friend no matter what happened. Love was abundant when the 3 of them were together. It always was, but now even more so, because they knew they needed each other. Harry needed them, no matter how much he thought he didn't. Ron and Hermione needed each other, and each needed Harry for their own reasons. That night, Ron asked Hermione a question, that wouldn't apply until later. But it would change their lives forever.

A/N: Who can spot the quote? It's from a movie.

AND...feedback people!!!!!


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